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Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Do You Want You and Your Boyfriend to Get Back Together?

By Ricardo d Argence

You want you and your boyfriend to get back together. Do you feel lost without him? Are you feeling lonely now that he is gone? Are you desperate to get him back?

Consider changing your approach towards him and the relationship if you want you and your boyfriend to get back together. He may have panicked if the relationship moved along to quickly and marriage was on the horizon.

Perhaps he felt lacking in personal space or smothered in the relationship. He may have felt totally out of control of his plans for the future. Maybe, he felt some pressure from you and needed to back away from the relationship.

Hopefully this is the case but if you push too much it very well could be. If what you want is you and your boyfriend get back together you have to be aware of this.

Your boyfriend may be like many males and thrive on being independent. They need their space from time to time. While the idea of marriage and commitment may have seemed appealing to them for a moment, reality could have set in and now they are feeling trapped. Males very often need to feel in charge. They need to feel in charge of not only themselves, but of situations.

If things start getting fast they don't feel so in control anymore. Once marriage or long term commitment starts getting discussed it is easy to feel that you are getting sucked into something if you don't feel ready. If they feel they aren't ready, they most likely aren't. If they feel like they are getting pushed down a road they don't think they want to go yet, they may push themselves away.

If he is not ready, he has left the relationship and you want, you and your boyfriend to get back together you have to keep it a secret from him. Do not show him that you are sensitive about the breakup or wanting to get back together. Do not try to force him down that road. Willingly walking that road together is what you want. Let him take the lead. He needs to feel as though it is his idea to choose the direction. When he is ready and he wants too, he will. You cannot fix the problem by forcing it.

Because there is no direction, you are dealing with your breakup. You may consider this the right time to return in that direction, although he may not be anywhere around now.

If he has any desire to talk with you and you are still on a friendly basis, just be available, but not too available. If he is going to call you, make it seem like you are hard to get on the phone. If he wants to make some plans with you, turn him down at first but ask for a rain check. The goal is to make him seem like he is pursuing you. Let him be in the hunt.

Let him hunt for you; remember sometimes the things you most want are those things that are hard to get. Those things are most often those, which are most wholeheartedly sought. Let him go in for the kill, you will both enjoy it.

You want him to commit and if you make yourself someone worth hunting and let yourself be hunted and not necessarily caught, you may see you and your boyfriend get back together.

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